Not much to report, I am still waiting for my first appointment in September, seems like a lifetime away.
Once you're away that you have a condition you really start to notice when it is affecting you. I had to give a quarterly report this week at work and preparing for it took forever because I kept getting side-tracked. The report went well, but I think it would have been better if I could have just done it without the distraction. I also realized how terrible my record keeping is!
Friday, July 31, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Incrimental imporvements
Spent some time on the phone calling clinics yesterday and found one with an opening in Late September! Still seems a long ways off, but still better than a stick in the eye.
I spent two days this week in a class on project management. I think it was a test to see if I would go crazy or not. I'm not a project manager and while I pull a few tiny morsels of goodness from the class that might apply to my life, the rest of it was worthless to me. The first day was manageable with copious amounts of caffeine, but by the time the second day came around it was a constant struggle to not fall asleep and track what was going on in class. It got really, really bad. I was head bobbing and hearing words that I was unable to process in any sort of sensible way. It was exhausting and when group work came up I had no idea what we were supposed to do! Thankfully my fellow group members didn't really care, they knew I had no business being in the class and just went about the work to be done without me. I felt a little guilty, but not too much so.
I find a forget a lot of things and I'm trying to decide if I'm forgetting more than I did before or not. It seems like i am, but that could just be that I'm looking for problems too. I worry from time to time that in addition to ADHD something else might be wrong. I don't know what exactly, I'm way too young for Alzheimer's and I don't think I've eaten any mad cows recently.
I wish I was able to just go buy the drugs and do this myself. i so want to begin treatment and enjoy more out of life, but it just seems like it's taking forever.
I spent two days this week in a class on project management. I think it was a test to see if I would go crazy or not. I'm not a project manager and while I pull a few tiny morsels of goodness from the class that might apply to my life, the rest of it was worthless to me. The first day was manageable with copious amounts of caffeine, but by the time the second day came around it was a constant struggle to not fall asleep and track what was going on in class. It got really, really bad. I was head bobbing and hearing words that I was unable to process in any sort of sensible way. It was exhausting and when group work came up I had no idea what we were supposed to do! Thankfully my fellow group members didn't really care, they knew I had no business being in the class and just went about the work to be done without me. I felt a little guilty, but not too much so.
I find a forget a lot of things and I'm trying to decide if I'm forgetting more than I did before or not. It seems like i am, but that could just be that I'm looking for problems too. I worry from time to time that in addition to ADHD something else might be wrong. I don't know what exactly, I'm way too young for Alzheimer's and I don't think I've eaten any mad cows recently.
I wish I was able to just go buy the drugs and do this myself. i so want to begin treatment and enjoy more out of life, but it just seems like it's taking forever.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Arrgh Still Searching
After getting word that the psyciatrist I was interested in wouldn't see me without a diagnosis from her pshchologist $$$$$ I decided to look elsewhere. I went back to the BCBS website to look up an in network doctor. Again, it was a lot of frustration. Offices either aren't taking on new patients, or the wait is 3 monts to be seen, or you need a referal from inside the clinic.
I just want to see the doctor, get on some meds and go about my life damn it.
I set up an appointment for November with a clinic. We'll have to see if I can find something sooner. I'd really like to get in before the end of August.
I had a wonderful ADHD moment today. I left the house with the patio door wide open. Not such a good idea if you want to keep the bad guys out. My wife was none too pleased to come home to a wide open house either.
I also was riding the motorcycle today when I realized that I never remember what gear I'm in and that could also be attributed to ADHD. I don't exactly know when ADHD ends and just plain forgetfullness takes over. Hopefully whatever it is is treatable and soon.
My wife has been pressuring me to get talk therapy, but I just don't see a lot of point in it. I'd just be doing it to make her happy, I honestly don't want to do it or thing there is much future in it.
I just want to see the doctor, get on some meds and go about my life damn it.
I set up an appointment for November with a clinic. We'll have to see if I can find something sooner. I'd really like to get in before the end of August.
I had a wonderful ADHD moment today. I left the house with the patio door wide open. Not such a good idea if you want to keep the bad guys out. My wife was none too pleased to come home to a wide open house either.
I also was riding the motorcycle today when I realized that I never remember what gear I'm in and that could also be attributed to ADHD. I don't exactly know when ADHD ends and just plain forgetfullness takes over. Hopefully whatever it is is treatable and soon.
My wife has been pressuring me to get talk therapy, but I just don't see a lot of point in it. I'd just be doing it to make her happy, I honestly don't want to do it or thing there is much future in it.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Vaction is over and another dissapointment
I'm back from vacation. I had a really nice time hiking in the Smoky Mountains with my wife. We camped and took in the sights for about a week.
I had what I'd call a maybe ADHD experience that nearly ruined our trip. We have a credit card tied to the NWA air miles. As you may be aware NWA was bought by Delta and the air miles creidt card is transitioning to AMEX from Visa. The transition took place while on vacation, and even though they sent several notices to us about the change we somehow didn't figure it out and were left 1000 miles from home with no credit card. Thankfully we had enough cash to cover our basic expenses and the trip was not ruined. I'm not sure how much of that was ADHD and how much of it was jus tbeing a moron. I may never know.
I ran into another roadblock with my search for treatment. They Psychiatrist I've been trying to see has rejected by testing as insufficient, meaning if I want to see her I will have to submit to a new round of testing with her psycologist which is an expense I'd rather not pay to tell me something I already know. Why she can't just see me I don't know, according to my previous therapist it's quite obvious to anyone with training that I have it. I think the new lady is just trying to cover her bases, she seems kind of cautious over the phone. Perhaps it is for the best that I won't be seeing her because she may be too cautious about perscribing the right amounts or types of drugs. This was something my previous therapist warned me of.
I am going to have to go back to the BCBS list and find a new person to treat me, Oh how fun that will be.
Later...
I had what I'd call a maybe ADHD experience that nearly ruined our trip. We have a credit card tied to the NWA air miles. As you may be aware NWA was bought by Delta and the air miles creidt card is transitioning to AMEX from Visa. The transition took place while on vacation, and even though they sent several notices to us about the change we somehow didn't figure it out and were left 1000 miles from home with no credit card. Thankfully we had enough cash to cover our basic expenses and the trip was not ruined. I'm not sure how much of that was ADHD and how much of it was jus tbeing a moron. I may never know.
I ran into another roadblock with my search for treatment. They Psychiatrist I've been trying to see has rejected by testing as insufficient, meaning if I want to see her I will have to submit to a new round of testing with her psycologist which is an expense I'd rather not pay to tell me something I already know. Why she can't just see me I don't know, according to my previous therapist it's quite obvious to anyone with training that I have it. I think the new lady is just trying to cover her bases, she seems kind of cautious over the phone. Perhaps it is for the best that I won't be seeing her because she may be too cautious about perscribing the right amounts or types of drugs. This was something my previous therapist warned me of.
I am going to have to go back to the BCBS list and find a new person to treat me, Oh how fun that will be.
Later...
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Gone for a while
I'm going to be out of touch for a while unless I can figure out how to update with my wife's Ipod Touch. We will be on vacation.
I had hopes I would have been in treatment by now, but alas the wait continues. I wish I wasn't the one who had to push this thing along, but it seems as though the therapist I have chosen is very proactive in calling people. She show have my updated records by now! Maybe I'll call her today.
Later
I had hopes I would have been in treatment by now, but alas the wait continues. I wish I wasn't the one who had to push this thing along, but it seems as though the therapist I have chosen is very proactive in calling people. She show have my updated records by now! Maybe I'll call her today.
Later
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
